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The truth is, we project onto other people and the world in general our own hidden fantasies. These can be both positive fantasies and negative ones as well. Often, certain individuals can become our bête noire because they come to represent everything we hate about ourselves. We project our fantasies onto them and they are transformed into the scapegoat for our own inadequacies. Similarly, an individual may remind us of someone who wronged us in the past, and we may accuse this unwitting person of the sins of their predecessor.
Fantasy and projected fantasy play a big role when people fall in love. Carl Jung claimed that each of us is psychologically part male and part female. He called these two aspects of the self the Anima (female) and the Animus (male). The Anima and Animus appear in dreams and fantasies as the perfect man or woman. These concepts of the “perfect man” and “perfect woman” are projected onto the opposite sex resulting in the experience of “falling in love.” In my own work as a medium and psychic counselor one of the most often asked questions is, “When will I meet “Mr. Right”?” Clearly, the question itself implies that the woman already has a preconception that there is a “Mr. Right,” someone who lives up to her fantasies and expectations. He is the Animus figure that has appeared in her dreams and fantasies. Men have similar preconceptions and speak about ‘the woman of my dreams.”
FANTASY ABOUT DREAM SEX
Fantasies about sex and relationships play a huge role in whom we choose as life partners. Unfortunately these fantasies are usually unrealistic; newlyweds often face a crisis when they begin to distinguish between the person they thought they married and their spouse. Nonetheless fantasy plays an important role in bonding, and new fantasies gradually replace those that are discarded. All sorts of influences affect the nature of these fantasies, including our early childhood and the image we have of our father, mother, and siblings. Fantasies go on in our minds all the time without our awareness. Sometimes they can be spotted by other people, but often they remain clandestine.